Blog, Mental Health, Self

A day in the life: burnout recovery

A day in the life – very slow living! A little history You may have read some of my posts talking about burnout and my thoughts about experiencing this. (They’re mostly grouped under the ‘mental health’ category if you want to search!) Burnout is a term used to describe the state of absolute exhaustion that’s… Read More A day in the life: burnout recovery

Blog, Mental Health, Self

Lightning

Did you ever get a lightning bolt realisation from reading something small and simple? A little innocuous sentence, but suddenly, a situation becomes clear, all at once? It happened to me this week. Reading the latest Permaculture magazine, Simon Lacey’s article on horticultural therapy really interested me, especially the incorporation of Permaculture principles into therapeutic… Read More Lightning

Blog, Mental Health, Self, Words

Scream

One from a bit back – the endless frustration of cfs… I don’t know who I am and I just want to scream. I want to scream at stillness, shatter through this grey existence like breaking walls of glass into a million glinting shards. I search and wail and am lost in the years of… Read More Scream

Blog, Mental Health, Self

Movement and fear

Next week, I’m starting a Pilates class at my physio. Spending a few years sat down doesn’t do much for your posture, and apparently, hardly any of my core muscles are working any more, with my neck/shoulders and lumbar region working double hard to keep me upright, rather than the muscles that actually should be… Read More Movement and fear

Blog, Mental Health, Self

I am for

I’d like to say thank you for the thoughtful, heartfelt comments on Caring Enough. To hear that other people feel like this as well helped enormously. I needed to hear the things that people enjoy doing, to see that despite this feeling, it’s possible to begin to get involved in life once more. And, of… Read More I am for

Blog, Mental Health, Outdoors, Self

One foot in front of the other

It’s Tuesday. I’ve caffeinated my way through my piano lesson and am now munching my way through a pile of vegetable sticks and houmous. Somehow this has randomly become my favourite lunch. I feel like after the yuletide period my body was crying out for vegetables, vitamins, anything green… so I’m well into the crunchy… Read More One foot in front of the other

Blog, Mental Health

The Cave

Yesterday I woke up in The Cave. Walls closing in on my mind, crushing, eternal and dark. The sickening lurch towards the bottomless pit – that pull that’s so easy to give in to, drifting towards the horizon edge. My breath was panicked, short, shuddering. In the first five minutes of the day I felt… Read More The Cave

Blog, Mental Health, Self

Taking antidepressants

“Come on, now I hear you’re feeling down Well I can ease your pain And get you on your feet again” -Pink Floyd, Comfortably Numb I’m tethered to my mac by the headphone cable, eyes closed, floating on the familiar cushion of music. I feel a sort of knot, rising in my throat- a physical… Read More Taking antidepressants

Blog, Mental Health, Outdoors

Gardening and depression

I noticed on Twitter the other day that this week is #GardensAndHealthWeek, promoted by the National Gardens Scheme. It struck a chord with me – pottering about our garden has brought me a sense of peace and calm whilst I started to navigate through severe depression and anxiety this year. I haven’t talked too much… Read More Gardening and depression

Blog, Words

Begin

It’s hard to begin afresh when you’ve been still for so long. Still physically, still mentally, still spiritually. A pond with no movement leads to brackish, brown water. Overgrown with weeds, surface reflecting a sad, tired, sheen. Awakening from a sleep, coming around from inactivity, closing the book on that chapter of silence. It’s hard… Read More Begin