Endings and Themes.
As the days fall shorter and October slips slowly into November, all is gathered and the Celtic year comes to a close. Samhain, Halloween – the culmination of the harvest, and the time for planning and setting foundations for the next year. And so, with evenings darkening and leaves falling, I settle, and reminisce, and look forward.
Last year I let go of resolutions. A word I found a little jarring, in honesty. A resolve, a determination – energy I didn’t have, especially to last a full year. I needed flexibility, room to wiggle and slow. So I chose some loose themes for the year ahead, and looked at ways they could fit my life, my work, and my self. Those themes were openness, positive impact, and strength.
I found I waxed and waned, like the moon and the tides. My ‘resolution’ grew and faded, but it felt natural. Energy came and went, motivation dipped and danced. In a tough year, there was no ‘failure-by-February’ waiting for me ahead. I looked at being honest with myself, with others. Being open about what I was feeling, where I wanted to go. For someone so closed off from others, it’s been tough. I don’t give my ‘self’ very often. Open in my work was asking for help when my mood sank low during the lockdown. Looking at transparency in my little business.
Strength followed from this. Asking for help meant I could build support, people I can turn to. Strength also meant looking at my health, my finances, my skills. The pandemic shone a light into corners I hadn’t even thought of. What could I do, now, to help build strength for the future? Savings, income, learning new things. Moving more, stretching, looking at how I could build mental strength.
Positive impact. This ran deep for me. How can I leave this world better for me having been in it? There is already a lifetime of consuming to make up for. The challenge was overwhelming. I didn’t want to start from this far behind, already. What could I do?
Instead, I looked at ways I can help nature around me. I let my garden go wild. I fed the birds. I created piled of logs and leaves, made some bee homes, left mud for solitary bees, and talked to the tree bees living in the attic. I looked at how I could create positive impact with my little business. I looked at what value could mean beyond money. Spending time. Helping myself. Giving things away. Looking at where I keep my money and the ethics of the companies I use.
It’s now November, the beginning of a new month, a ‘new year’, where ideas can be planted and nurtured through the dark, cold months ahead. I’m a big believer in thinking time, letting my brain get on with it in the background. Things settle, ready for action come the spring.
So my themes this year build on those of last year. Strength and Resilience, Self-belief, and Positive Impact again. Again, I am enjoying the ebb and flow of ideas these themes have brought already. Some may stick, some may float away again into the ether, for a future time, or for somebody else to grasp onto. But it is the time to sit with them, slowly sowing and planning, and awaiting those little shoots come spring, as the world turns on, dependable, unchanging.