Awakening in another fleeting world, for a moment not knowing where or who I am, those few moments in that twilight zone between sleep and wake. That delicious disorientation of not being and being, of belonging to neither this world nor the next. A snatched slice of time with no past or future, no expectation, no definition. Then reality finds its place, snaps back into the jigsaw puzzle, and in a rush I am me once more, years past and present suddenly fit and I am once more defined and definition, once more myself and I.
In that moment, am I still me? In those milliseconds with no realisation, I have no self, no identity. In that hypnagogic space, a hint of awareness is hidden, overshadowed by space. And then I wake, fully, back in this body, this life, this space in time. People talk of dream worlds, of lucidity, of mind travel. Experiences I’ve never had, experiences I’m fully unsure of. Just a perception of having been away, of being somewhere, someone else. Trails of dreamworlds still whispering in my consciousness. And then eyes open and experience, life, being, everything ramps up and once again I’m fully immersed in this world.
Fully aware, I’m a person with a past and a future. With many pasts and many futures. Shaped by experience, feeling, intuition. I have a role to play, different to every person. It’s safe, familiar territory. But when I sleep again, that tiny little gap will return once more.
And I wonder. In that sliver or time between sleep and wake, who am I?