Blog, Mental Health, Outdoors, Self Discovery

One foot in front of the other

It’s Tuesday. I’ve caffeinated my way through my piano lesson and am now munching my way through a pile of vegetable sticks and houmous. Somehow this has randomly become my favourite lunch. I feel like after the yuletide period my body was crying out for vegetables, vitamins, anything green… so I’m well into the crunchy… Read More One foot in front of the other

Blog, Mental Health, Self Discovery

Things that I’m proud I did in 2018

2018 was a huge, crashing, explosion of a year. When I look back, the overwhelming feeling is that I’m so glad it’s over – one or two huge things sticking out, obscuring anything else from view. We’re well into 2019 now and I’ve spent a few days mulling over the last year in my head.… Read More Things that I’m proud I did in 2018

Blog, Mental Health

The Cave

Yesterday I woke up in The Cave. Walls closing in on my mind, crushing, eternal and dark. The sickening lurch towards the bottomless pit – that pull that’s so easy to give in to, drifting towards the horizon edge. My breath was panicked, short, shuddering. In the first five minutes of the day I felt… Read More The Cave

Blog, Mental Health, Self Discovery

Momentum

I managed a little walk today. And yesterday, and the day before. I’ve been thinking about making a change for a while. Last year was a shocker. The previous ones weren’t so great either. And a little walk, each day, sounds just lovely. Beginning to move stiff joints. Clearing out the cobwebs from my brain,… Read More Momentum

Blog, Mental Health, Self Discovery, Words

I like the wrinkles round my eyes

I like the wrinkles round my eyes that crease up when I smile I like my crazy curly hair (although it’s taken a while) I like picking a tune out on old keys or strings or tin or wood I’m finally realising that it’s ok to say I’m good I like my tiny little ears… Read More I like the wrinkles round my eyes

Blog, Mental Health, Self Discovery, Simplicity

Claws, clutter, and change

The last year or so has been a journey, to put it mildly. Now I’m feeling quite a lot better, and I’m ready to step into this next phase of life. I’m quite looking forward to it. I think I’ve learnt a lot. A road I never expected but really, I feel like a better… Read More Claws, clutter, and change

Blog, Mental Health

I’m sorry I am me

This morning, I was up and about in the valley running an errand or two. Enjoying the warm sunshine and golden light, I was full of the joys of, well, autumn. I came up to a pedestrian crossing, seeing someone on the other side. And then I realised I knew them, and the last time… Read More I’m sorry I am me

Blog, Mental Health

Feeling Lost

I was sat the other day, over-thinking (a normal, everyday activity for me). Enclosed by a deep armchair with a brightly covered throw, typical of our house where nothing matches anything else, with no real coherent direction of design. It reflects me rather well, I thought. Not in a bad way, but in that chaotic… Read More Feeling Lost

Blog, Mental Health, Self Discovery

A little list of little things

Little things that make me happy when I’m feeling a bit wobbly: -Guinea Pigs -A book to lose myself in -Making Spotify playlists of all the music I loved when I was growing up -Doing my makeup and playing with crazy colours -Playing with the cat -A huge mug of tea -Playing piano (or another… Read More A little list of little things

Blog, Mental Health, Self Discovery

Taking antidepressants

“Come on, now I hear you’re feeling down Well I can ease your pain And get you on your feet again” -Pink Floyd, Comfortably Numb I’m tethered to my mac by the headphone cable, eyes closed, floating on the familiar cushion of music. I feel a sort of knot, rising in my throat- a physical… Read More Taking antidepressants