Blog, Mental Health, Self

I am for

I’d like to say thank you for the thoughtful, heartfelt comments on Caring Enough. To hear that other people feel like this as well helped enormously. I needed to hear the things that people enjoy doing, to see that despite this feeling, it’s possible to begin to get involved in life once more. And, of course, to just be and try to let go of that self judgement. That feeling of ‘I should be better by now’. I wanted to just articulate this feeling, explore it, poke it and prod at it a little. It’s kind of hard to find the right words, though.

It’s just a greyness, where interest once sparked. A… longing, almost…. a heart-pull when I think of things I used to do, a despair that I just can’t get that feeling back right now.

I am having some trouble remembering who I am, I think. Losing self to mental illness isn’t that fun, and coming out the other side still isn’t fun – there’s a lot of trying to remember who that person was before the dementors got a hold of them.

So, in the interests of moving forward, I’ve made a little list of the things I stand for, or would like to stand for in the future. Things change, people change, and I’m not sure that I’d still enjoy the things I used to do, but I’ll list them anyway, with no pressure or expectation, just with curiosity, and a little gentleness.

I am Sal, and I am for:

Acceptance
Trees
Big thoughts
Compliments
Beaches
Thunderstorms
Learning
Fitness
The environment
Discussion
Walking
Equality
Friends
Simplicity
Animals
Oceans
Running
History
Writing
Questioning
Art
Music

What would you be ‘for’?

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1 thought on “I am for

  1. I so love this post. I see we have a lot in common.
    I stand for…
    Simplicity
    Music
    Local business
    Sun
    Environment
    Fresh air
    Rest
    Family
    Reading
    The coast – water
    Solidarity
    Fresh vegetables
    Digging in the dirt
    Strumming the guitar
    Live music
    Art
    Creativity
    Urban life
    Equality
    Diversity
    Stories
    Authenticity

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