Blog, Words

It’s OK to rest

I have to remember that it’s OK to rest. Crazy weeks, emotional battlegrounds – giving, giving, and feeling myself drain. I know it was too much, yet still I continued. And this space, a space that I’d filled with plans, took its chance and made me stop.

Essays sit unfinished, deadlines drawing closer. Books pile up to read in a tower that seems more precarious by the day. Washing up piles too, glaring accusingly from the worktop. Mess clutters my mind further, but I cannot even get that far. Thinking tires me. Words tire me. I even feel that breathing tires me.

I fight it, as I always do, for the first day, but as time slips on I give in, letting go of the guilt, putting the growing to-do list to one side for now.

Life with CFS is a game of daring. I know myself more now – the baseline, the stretch, the realisation of what’s coming, looking back from a place way too far over that base. So it hit me full force, as I knew was coming. 3 days on and I wait, and recharge, and slowly, slowly, climb back up to level ground.

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2 thoughts on “It’s OK to rest

  1. Sal, I didn’t know you suffered from chronic fatigue syndrome, I am so sorry. I can’t even imagine what that is like. But thank you for an important reminder – it’s important for all of us to rest. I usually don’t allow myself to do that too often, always feeling like I need to be productive. But resting can also be productive, as in your case, it allows your body to recover.

    1. Thanks Terri 🙂

      I think we’re always pushed to be ‘busy busy’ nowadays – doing more, fitting more in, saying yes to everything, it’s all seen as something to aim for. It’s so easy to forget that taking time out to contemplate, to evaluate, and yes, to rest our minds and bodies, is much needed. We’re not superhuman. Everyone needs a break sometimes!

      Sal x

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