The past month or so, I have lost my words. A sadness, inevitably washing over me in deeper and deeper waves every time I turn on the radio, or catch the news, or look on social media. The hatred flooding the world, the indescribable sadness over shootings and murders and racism and divides. The shock split in Europe, the shambles and embarrassment that followed and still lingers on. The tension, stretching just below the surface, a nation divided, many nations divided. A feeling of floundering, of sinking in it all, of despair, wringing my hands, wretched tears ripping from my eyes, feeling that just one person cannot change a single thing and feeling that helplessness, that numb shock and anger as every day, things just get worse and worse.
People, innocent people, losing lives, promising, honest lives, lives that should be respected and celebrated and instead ended in horror, in a way that shouldn’t be possible, an end replayed in a ghastly way, toyed with and played with by media the world over. The wave rises and breaks over us, people in limbo. We should be united and yet the cracks seem to be deepening at a terrifying pace.
So the words won’t come. Choked back with grief for the world, the only sentences flowing from my fingertips are fuelled by rage, by an impotence at seeing people whipped into a frenzy, by a society so increasingly fragile that I sometimes wonder who is going to crumble first, myself or it. I take the time to channel the fire, layering the ashes and beginning to rise once more, wondering what I can do, this tiny, insignificant person looking at giants running the world.
Because I am not ‘just’ a person. We are not ‘just’ people. We cannot stand silently whilst innocent people are mown down in the name of divisions that should not exist and should never have existed. We must stand up, one at a time and then together, and stay strong. We must not bend in the wind of unrest that blows like a storm over us. We must stand up and together we can change the world.
We must change the world. We must change this. We must.