Blog, Words

The Master Procrastinator

master procrastinator

Back at the end of autumn last year, I made some ‘new year’ resolutions. One of those was to finally put more effort into my blog, into writing, into the one thing I really, really love to do.
I wanted to make this year the year I could finally push myself and start trying out all of the ideas I’d been making time for over the months.

I was so excited. I had, and still have, a great vision. But there’s just one catch.

It’s 4 months later and I’ve done precisely zip.

I know I’m the world’s biggest procrastinator. I’ll wander through imaginary lands, get caught up in endless internet cycles, potter about with a cloth and some polish, get sidetracked by birds, trees, and eye-catching clouds. I thought I was prepared for that, and I knew the reason. Surely now I had something to throw myself into that I really, really wanted to succeed, I’d be motivated to get it done. But, nope. Apparently not. Those imaginary lands are still calling and I can’t step outside.
Instead I’ve been carrying on with my part-time job, floating about, doing pretty much anything but the one thing I should actually be spending my time absorbed in.

I envisage how life will be in a few years time, when I’m writing, when I’m making videos, when, when, when. I conjure up success and happiness and the freedom to work when I want, on projects I really want to. But I know that those few years will pass by in the blink of an eye and I can see myself sitting in exactly the same place as I am now, wondering what the hell went wrong and lamenting yet another lack of commitment.

Is it routine that makes success? Is it passion that makes the routine? Or is it just dogged, fighting determination to grab onto that spark of possibility and never, ever let it go?

I need to fight. I need to fight my mind, away with the fairies more often than not. I need to fight expectation and hunker down to create the first routine that will ever put me closer to that place I want to be. I need to fight the temptation to give in and settle. Settling is not enough. Settling is over.

Is it possible for a master procrastinator to become a master creator?
I guess I’m fighting to find out.

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5 thoughts on “The Master Procrastinator

  1. Thanks for sharing your procrastination! It makes me feel better about myself. I have all these things I envision myself doing better at, but I feel like such a failure. For one thing, I have been practicing negative self-talk about my procrastination in all things. I get disgusted with myself despite any progress. I have been simplifying for a year, decluttering even 100 items per week, plus 100 items of clothing per month for the last year! Still, I’m overwhelmed with it all, that I can’t just get rid of more stuff faster. I wish I had more discipline. I also want to lose weight, to exercise (which I hate!), in order to get into shape. I can’t seem to do it. I try to take baby steps with my lists every day, but I’m not always making process. I continue to get rid of a few things even when I think I’m at a standstill, but I think in my WANT to get fit, that I have actually gained weight. I feel like such a failure. I don’t know how to feel better about myself or how to make more progress. I will continue to follow your posts and hopefully gain inspiration on how to do so. Any hope or inspiration you can give might help.

  2. I am a major procrastinator, but I read something from Gretchen Rubin (she has a questionnaire on this) that told me that in relation to habits – I was an ‘obliger’ which means I am really good at doing things people ask of me (too much?) but really crap at upholding promises and commitments I make to myself. This was frighteningly spot on and I know that it means that I need to generate accountability or at least visibility to embed habits. Not sure how that exactly relates to procrastination but I think it means that there isn’t just one way to get at embedding a habit and if one way isn’t working, maybe another way will!

    This is the survey I did! https://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/1950137/Four-Tendencies-January-2015

    1. Thank you for the link, that quiz is spot on! I got rebel… 😉

      “Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike. They act from a sense of choice, from freedom. Rebels wake up and think, “What do I want to do today?”
      They resist control, even self-control, and enjoy flouting rules and expectations. They sometimes frustrate others—and even themselves—because they resist any expectation, even one that’s self-imposed.
      Rebels resist habits, but they can embrace habit-like behaviors by tying their actions to their choices and their identity.”

      It made me giggle, that quiz got me good! It helped though, now I’m thinking about just why I don’t like doing things that I think I ‘should’. Which includes most stuff, really! Now to find a way around it…

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