Life is a scary thing. This one chance, entirely in our own hands. That’s a big responsibility. A big ask. This tiny human, fragile, yet with unlimited potential. I don’t want to regret my choices. I want to be true.
So sometimes, I’m scared. I’m scared that I’ll fall back into the ‘normality’ of the consumer loop. I’m scared that I’ll never have to confidence to truly follow my dreams, the ones that come to me in crazy moments, creative and inspired. I’m worried that I’ll never get round to living my best ideas. I’m scared of losing my healthy lifestyle, even though right now, living actively and healthily is a true passion of mine. I’m scared of looking back, a few decades down the line, and regretting the things I did. Regretting the things I didn’t do.
I’m scared of missing out, of not travelling but also of the unknown. I’m terrified of true opinions and of being judged by others. I’m scared of ignorance and misunderstanding. I’m scared of big society and scared of small minds.
But most of all, I’m frightened of looking back on my life as a whole and thinking ‘I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself’. The inevitability drives me. Looking at modern society, and the focus on quick fixes and instant gratification pushes me to live a little differently, a parallel existence, dipping in and out of the ‘norm’, paths crossing sometimes, under control. A viewpoint from outside, with open eyes and open heart. Daring to dream and not only that, daring to take a little tiptoe towards that dream, followed by a skip and a jump and a full on sprint until that pastel scene is a full-colour reality.
So, yes, I’m scared. But any life worth living needs to challenge us so we can learn and push ourselves. Find out our true limits and break past the boundaries we thought we once had. Being frightened shows we care. We care about the impact our lives have on our planet, our friends and family, our society, the nature around us. This fear is normal. It’s how we channel it that sets us apart from the norm. Do we let the fear settle, and back down? Or do we acknowledge it, tame it, feel it but use the energy to change the world?
I’m scared. And I’m proud of it.